Watch

A 8 years old boy received a nice watch for his birthday. He focus on the watch only. He read the time almost each two minutes and said : ten after eight ( 8:10 ), eleven thirty ( 11:30 ) etc... When he said twelve O'clock his uncle told him that you can say twelve O'clock or noon. When the boy saw twelve after twelve ( 12:12 ) he said uncle look, look, now the time is noon noon.

Alcohol

A cat running after a mouse and could not catch him. When the cat almost got him, he jump in a big can of alcohol and said if you let me out you could eat me. After getting out the mouse enter through his cage . The cat said that's not serious. The mouse respond by telling the cat I was drunk, that's was alcohol

Two Rats

It was one day Jean and Peter waited for the train at the subway station. Jean said look I see a big rat. Peter said I see another one too. The second rat said : my name is not rat, my name is another one.

Shoes Store

On day the beautiful Annette was at the shoes store in the hope to buy one pair of shoes. She tried more than 20 pairs, none of them fit her. When she was ready to leave she said : thanks God, I don't waste my time, I find one. After all the sale person told her that's your own shoes ; you took it off before you tried the first pair. You came here with it from your house.

Lemonade

There was a man who used to drink lemonade everyday in a bar in the front of a catholic school. Some students bother him all the time by calling him lemonade. One day, that man went to the principal's office to complaint about that. The principal called all parents for a meeting. After all, they took sanction against the kids. One week later, the kids saw the man drinking lemonade a the bar.
One of them said : sugar
A second one said : water
And a third one said : lemon
After listening the man said : If you mix them up, I will tell the principal again.

Restaurant #1

Peter who doesn't know how to read even a menu went to the restaurant last week. When he asked about what they had to eat, the waiter told him that they have barbecue chicken, vegetables, slice fish etc... Peter said : give me "etc.." because I never ate that before.

Restaurant #2

Jean who is always broke went to the restaurant one day in the morning. After taking his breakfast he told the manager that he didn't have any money in his pocket. The manager said : you used to do that almost everyday and slapped him on the left side of his face. After all, Jean said slap me on the right side to give me a chance for my lunch later.

One way Street

One day after parking my car on a one way street, I saw Jean walked in the front. Jean forgot something and running back without turning his face. I said what's happened Jean ? Why do you walk like that ? Jean said because of the traffic law, I don't want to get a ticket.

Learning English

When Jo came in America he went to school to learn English. His first lesson was about the time. After that course he knew the time in English. When we asked him for the time he always said the right answer. For example : six thirty ( 6:30 ), eight ten ( 8:10 ). He went to the store to buy a pair of sneakers. When somebody at the store asked him for his size. He said my size is nine thirty